One day it's high up in the 80's. The next, it's raining and below 20. And the day after it's around 60. It's nearing April (pretty much is) and we still have more freezing cold days then mild. I was really looking forward to March but I guess I'm just going to have to wait until Summer officially kicks in....
In other news, life is continuing on in the same, dull pattern over and over. Had to do a piano performace for old people at the retirement home again. I might just be high, but I think I got more claps then usual. Really raised my self-esteem (even if it's just me thinking).
Report cards are coming out soon and my dad will behead me for sure. My mom's going back to Korea for a 5 month vacation. Oddly enough, she's coming back when my summer vacation starts. She claims it's this long "illness" she has, but I think what she really wants is a excuse to not go to work anymore. And more obvious reasons like meeting family members, etc. etc.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Mapleglobal hacking
*sigh*
It was fun while it lasted. Power guard hack is patched today... There goes my one, slight ray of hope on getting to level 90 in a week... I suppose getting to 39-63 in 2 days is better then nothing but I'm still dam disappointed...
In other news, life continually mocks me. Everytime I think I see reality, it closes and I'm blinded by my own thoughts and other's. Man it's annoying...
It was fun while it lasted. Power guard hack is patched today... There goes my one, slight ray of hope on getting to level 90 in a week... I suppose getting to 39-63 in 2 days is better then nothing but I'm still dam disappointed...
In other news, life continually mocks me. Everytime I think I see reality, it closes and I'm blinded by my own thoughts and other's. Man it's annoying...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
What is love?
I suppose getting heart broken is simply part of life. No denying that. But what if your afraid of it? What then? While everyone else around you is getting in relationships, your the only odd one out that never felt the satisfaction you get from a relationship.
I'm way too emotionally sensitive to go through all that. Getting denied, breaking up with someone and someone breaking up with you is way too intense for me. For me, the simple thought of someone else getting shattered because of me is enough to shatter me (Even though deep down, I know they'll get over it in a week).
While all my peers already went through this, I'm afraid of it. While everyone else can heal overtime, mine's like fragile glass; break it once and it'll never be repaired.
Of course, right now, there's only one person in the world who has that kind of power. Right now, one of the things that scares the living hell out of me is her denial. That horrible feeling that you get when you want to know something, but your afraid of the answer...... that feeling is something I know very well. What if I were to ask today or tomorrow and the answer wasn't the one I wanted? What then? Would my life be shattered to pieces? Would I go emo and start cutting myself?
Is it possible for love to be only one sided? A shield and not a sword?
...
But of course, who am I to speak? A coward who can't even take rejection...
I'm way too emotionally sensitive to go through all that. Getting denied, breaking up with someone and someone breaking up with you is way too intense for me. For me, the simple thought of someone else getting shattered because of me is enough to shatter me (Even though deep down, I know they'll get over it in a week).
While all my peers already went through this, I'm afraid of it. While everyone else can heal overtime, mine's like fragile glass; break it once and it'll never be repaired.
Of course, right now, there's only one person in the world who has that kind of power. Right now, one of the things that scares the living hell out of me is her denial. That horrible feeling that you get when you want to know something, but your afraid of the answer...... that feeling is something I know very well. What if I were to ask today or tomorrow and the answer wasn't the one I wanted? What then? Would my life be shattered to pieces? Would I go emo and start cutting myself?
Is it possible for love to be only one sided? A shield and not a sword?
...
But of course, who am I to speak? A coward who can't even take rejection...
Friday, March 7, 2008
Money's more addicting then drugs...
The day I got my debit card, I swore to myself I wouldn't excessively spend it on junk that I would throw away in 3-4 months. Here's all the stuff I spent in 2 days alone...
Pending
CHECKCARD PAYPAL *NEXON GAM 4029357733 CA...
-$5.00
$13.67
Pending
CHECKCARD 03/06 PAYPAL*NEXON GAME 4029357...
-$10.00
$18.67
Pending
CHECKCARD PAYPAL *GAMESERVI 4029357733 NE...
-$15.33
$28.67
03/06/2008
KEEP THE CHANGE TRANSFER TO ACCT 1988 FOR...
-$0.01
$44.00
03/06/2008
CHECKCARD 0305 PAYPAL*VALLYCOMMUN 402-93...
-$55.99
$44.01
02/27/2008
Deposit
$100.00
$100.00
In other words, I had $100 to begin with and in 2 days, I'm left with $13.67. The $55.99 is actually a pair of bluetooth earphones that I bought off eBay for an unbeatable price. That is the one purchase that I will never regret in my life, weather I like the earphones or not. However, the other $30 is on a online game. A online game that I will most likely quit in 6-7 months. And I spent $30 on it....
People, you have to realize how much $30 is. Sure, it's not enough to make much of a difference between getting a ferrari and a old a Honda Accord, but at an early age, $30 can make all the difference...
Pending
CHECKCARD PAYPAL *NEXON GAM 4029357733 CA...
-$5.00
$13.67
Pending
CHECKCARD 03/06 PAYPAL*NEXON GAME 4029357...
-$10.00
$18.67
Pending
CHECKCARD PAYPAL *GAMESERVI 4029357733 NE...
-$15.33
$28.67
03/06/2008
KEEP THE CHANGE TRANSFER TO ACCT 1988 FOR...
-$0.01
$44.00
03/06/2008
CHECKCARD 0305 PAYPAL*VALLYCOMMUN 402-93...
-$55.99
$44.01
02/27/2008
Deposit
$100.00
$100.00
In other words, I had $100 to begin with and in 2 days, I'm left with $13.67. The $55.99 is actually a pair of bluetooth earphones that I bought off eBay for an unbeatable price. That is the one purchase that I will never regret in my life, weather I like the earphones or not. However, the other $30 is on a online game. A online game that I will most likely quit in 6-7 months. And I spent $30 on it....
People, you have to realize how much $30 is. Sure, it's not enough to make much of a difference between getting a ferrari and a old a Honda Accord, but at an early age, $30 can make all the difference...
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Holy shit my interim sucks...
Let's see... 1 "D", 1 "C", 4 "B", and 1 "A". Yeah I'm a goner for sure. I'd rather go all the way to the gates of hell and stay there then face my parents wraith...
Monday, March 3, 2008
Birthday sucked and Sunday sucked even more
If it was just a regular birthday, it would have been fine. But this was the so-called "sweet 16" birthday. The one birthday that I actually cared about. Granted, I got more loot then what I got for the past 16 years, but I'm still disappointed. Let's see here.... A bank account with $100 and my own debit card, books, and a trip to Outbacks. With my parents. How gay...
Sunday I got lectured on how to worship God properly. Apparently, somebodies been stalking me during mass because the Youth club leader (who's only a Senior himself) pretty much over exaggerated on all my flaws; sleeping, texting, and using phone. Sleeping, I plea guilty. As for texting and using the phone, I object. Sure, if you count taking out my phone to check to the time, then yes I'm using it. But seriously, I took out the phone for about 3 fucking minutes to check up on something (and it was during one of the most "least" important part of mass) and I got shot down in every possible angle.
Leap year day (thats what I call it) was waaaaaaay to ordinary. The whole day, I was thinking "Wow... in 4 years, I'll be out of this household. The next time I get to live and do stuff on Feburary 29 is when I'm in College..." Now with that, you would expect it to be more fun filled but damn... too boring...
Sunday I got lectured on how to worship God properly. Apparently, somebodies been stalking me during mass because the Youth club leader (who's only a Senior himself) pretty much over exaggerated on all my flaws; sleeping, texting, and using phone. Sleeping, I plea guilty. As for texting and using the phone, I object. Sure, if you count taking out my phone to check to the time, then yes I'm using it. But seriously, I took out the phone for about 3 fucking minutes to check up on something (and it was during one of the most "least" important part of mass) and I got shot down in every possible angle.
Leap year day (thats what I call it) was waaaaaaay to ordinary. The whole day, I was thinking "Wow... in 4 years, I'll be out of this household. The next time I get to live and do stuff on Feburary 29 is when I'm in College..." Now with that, you would expect it to be more fun filled but damn... too boring...
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